What You’re Not Seeing Stress Awareness Day was yesterday. Here’s what my 6 a.m. really looks like

6 a.m.

Stress Awareness Day was yesterday. My feed was full of bubble baths, box breathing and sunrise yoga.

Here’s my morning instead. You’re not getting a picture. You’re getting the truth.

It’s 6 a.m. Vegetable dye is setting on my hair. Eye patches are on. Shark Tank is playing. Double coffee in hand.

I’ve already texted my oldest friend happy birthday. I’ve been first for 55 years, and I’m not giving up that streak now.

I’ve sent love to another friend who has a medical test today.

In a few minutes I’ll wake up my 91-year-old mother so we can finish getting ready to fly to Sioux Falls.

And in between all of it, I’m adding BLI’s federal certifications to our website and our email signatures.

No, I’m not showing you that mess. But I’m telling you. Come into my living room.

Full is not the same as overwhelmed

Most stress advice treats every heavy morning the same way. Too much, so do less.

But my morning isn’t too much. It’s full. There’s a difference, and it matters.

Overwhelmed is when the load runs you. Full is when you’re carrying a load you picked up on purpose, and you’d pick it up again.

My background is psychology, and we have a word for the good kind: eustress. It’s the stress of a wedding, a launch, a big trip. Demanding, but tied to something you want.

When people ask how I am, my honest answer is usually this: overwhelmed in a good way. There’s a lot happening, and most of it is the kind of hard I chose.

Stress Awareness Day posts mostly try to calm everything down. I’d rather sort it.

The one question

When my plate is full, I ask myself one thing: Is this the kind of hard I chose?

If the answer is yes, I stop trying to shrink it. I make room for it. I let it count as a good life, not a problem to solve.

If the answer is no, that’s the pile that needs action. Fix it, hand it off, or say it out loud to someone who can help. You can’t breathe your way out of something that was never yours to carry.

Here’s the trap. Most of us treat both piles the same. We try to relax our way through the hard we didn’t choose, and we feel guilty about the hard we did. That’s what wears people down.

What this morning proves

Fifty-five years of being first. A birthday text takes ten seconds. Being first for 55 years takes a decision I keep making. Small rituals are how relationships survive decades of busy.

The same goes for the friend with a test today. Showing up cost me one text. It meant more than any post ever could.

Waking up a 91-year-old for a flight. Traveling with my mother takes patience, planning and more coffee than I’d admit. It’s also time with her I don’t take for granted. That’s the kind of hard I’d choose every single time.

Federal certifications at dawn. Running a company doesn’t pause for a trip. Before we leave for the airport, I’m updating BLI’s website and email signatures with our federal certifications. Do I wish it could wait? Not really. I built this. Hard, and mine.

Pull up a chair

So here’s my Stress Awareness Day, one day late and on purpose.

I’m not going to tell you to take a bath. I’m going to ask you to sort your plate.

This week, write down everything on it. Next to each item, put a C for chose or an N for not. Then ask yourself honestly: am I fighting the right pile?

Hit reply or leave a comment and tell me what your 6 a.m. looks like.

Come into my living room. Eye patches optional.

— Wendy