A question I can’t stop thinking about
This week I’m at the EAPA Institute & EXPO in Norfolk, Virginia. I came to talk about moving EAPs forward. Then the opening keynote handed me a question I can’t stop thinking about.
When someone you work with is struggling, do you actually ask? Not “you okay?” in the hallway. The real question. The one about suicide.
Most of us don’t. We’re afraid we’ll say the wrong thing, or make it worse. So pull up a chair. Let’s talk about it the way we would in my living room.
Meet Kelly Posner
The keynote speaker was Dr. Kelly Posner, founder and director of the Columbia Lighthouse Project. She built the Columbia Protocol, the most widely used suicide screening tool in the country. Her talk made the case for it as a national workforce strategy, and I’m convinced.
Here’s what makes it so powerful. It’s up to six plain-language, yes-or-no questions. You don’t need a clinical license to ask them. Teachers, first responders, family members, and managers use it every day.
It’s also free. There’s a Columbia Protocol app for iPhone and Android that walks you through the questions, sorts the answer into low, moderate, or high risk, and points you to help.
What this means at work
Three things I want every leader to know:
- Asking doesn’t plant the idea. Research shows asking about suicide doesn’t increase suicidal thoughts. Many people feel relief that someone finally asked.
- The handoff isn’t the finish line. In the largest emergency room study of its kind, screening alone didn’t reduce suicide attempts. Screening plus a safety plan and follow-up phone calls cut them by 30%.
- The weeks after a crisis are the most dangerous. That’s often exactly when someone walks back into work. Leaders can be part of the safety net.
That’s why we’re building two new BLI workshops. Part 1 teaches leaders how to ask using the Columbia Protocol. Part 2 covers what to do in the 90 days after: the check-ins, the first day back, and what to tell the team.
The songs that say it out loud
Sometimes the first time someone says “I’m not okay” is when they hit play and turn it up. That’s why I want to give a shout-out to the artists making mental health songs.
Jelly Roll has been open about his depression, anxiety, and addiction for years. He debuted “I Am Not Okay” on The Voice in 2024, and it became an anthem for people who felt unseen. He also donated his royalties from it to fund mental health support for songwriters. That’s walking the talk.
And a shout-out to Brent Morgan for “I Am Proud of You.” Some people go years without hearing those words. A song can be the first place they do.
These songs matter because they give people words. When someone can’t say it to their boss or their family, a song can say it for them. And when they share that song with you, that might be their way of asking for help.
One thing to do this week
Tomorrow, October 10, is World Mental Health Day. Here’s my ask:
- Download the free Columbia Protocol app.
- Save 988 in your phone. It’s the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, by call or text, 24/7.
- Ask one person, “How are you, really?” Then listen.
And hit reply to tell me: what’s the song that got you through a hard time? I’d love to build a playlist from your answers.
Come into my living room anytime. This is the stuff we should be talking about.
Wendy
If you or someone you love is struggling, call or text 988.
